Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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