Having a random hookup so left but love u
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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