i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
