Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
