A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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