which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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