Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
