I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
