I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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