It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
