Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
