I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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