The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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