I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
