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I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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