3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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