Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
