He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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