Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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