theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize