I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
