I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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