Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
