I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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