All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
