yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im holly from the hills drunk
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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