yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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