okay pat passed out under dana's car
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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