she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
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When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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