i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
