I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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