is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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