having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
