even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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