I bet he comes in French.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
