We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize