I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I love you. Go after that dick
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
