the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
