You smell like a Billy Joel song
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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