How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
