Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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