How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
