this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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