I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize