Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
