u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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