My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
