She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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