I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
