I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
