You really coming over, don't trick.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
