he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Couch. On fire.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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