Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
