dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
